Is this true?
No.
My body is sore like I went running; I definitely did not. Instead of going Upstate, I found another way not to. I think it had to do with the rain.
I did buy heavy bags of potting soil at Home Depot and dragged it all back home. I saw some guy with dreadlocks that touched the cement floor when I was buying a handsaw. I wish I could have remembered his name, or at least something else about him besides his hair, from when we worked together at the library. So we just kind of nodded when we saw eachother.
I am almost embarrassed, but not
by this-
I was in my bed: in front of a 10-ft window with no curtain, and I watched 'We Are Wizards' on Hulu. The entire thing. It is a few years old and all about 'wizard rock', bands with HP themes. Harry and the Potters, Draco and the Malfoys, the Whomping Willow, etc. All their fans are 7-year-olds or young and greasy girls, which is kind of amazing. To be musician with a predefined shelf-life like that. Like an open jar of mayonnaise.
But Brad Neely was also in the movie. He said lots of funny things and was proud (and probably lying) when he said he had never read the books. Neely said he liked the movies a lot, mostly HP no. 2. He rescripted the movies and made 'adult audio tracks' to play against the muted movie if you time it just right.
I still havn't seen these- maybe one day soon, maybe the next time it rains.
Before you watch that, you should read this. I used my incredible skills honed from writing out Stephen Malkmus and Mike Watt transcriptions for VBS to capture this glory:
"Dear Diary,
Sometimes I think that this planet is owned by devils,
Sometimes I feel like my friends don't even know who I am
And my family belongs to some other me.
Sometimes, I need to be one with nature,
I want to frolic with the polycorns
and run amongst the braintrees, in the brain forest.
So I go to the city park by the lake.
Walking potion: 10 parts sugar, 90 parts whiskey.
If it's cold out, I take a bag of chowder,
And in the summer, I take a bag of banana chowder.
Once there, I look for the dream girls,
And I see the day-mares
And the talking shadows, bonding over disgusting things.
I see the perfects, and the lay-downs, and the hunched-ups.
I watch the followers looking for punch meat (?) ,
And I notice the pansexuals, wiggling down the lane,
with their shades on.
Sometimes, if I'm fast enough, I catch a glimpse of the brainfucker,
Just fuckin the shit out of everyone- and we don't even know it.
But mostly, I look for the dream girls,
You know, if you try sometimes,
You just might find, get what you want.
I have a big coat, with big pockets.
Sometimes, kittens get in there,
It's cool with my as long as they keep their hooksocks curled.
I look for wizard turds in the forest because I was once told they could be rolled into gold.
Sometimes I go to the lake and sing songs to the lake about the lake,
Once, a goose clapped.
Today on the road I saw something important,
I like to think they died while hugging, and that a person hadn't arranged them afterwards.
I found a soft tree and leaned up there, until the stars put on their make up.
I calmed down and focused my Chi, it's good to have a Chi hammer on the ready.
Then, I saw a second important thing that night, hmm.
You know, I felt pretty wise.
Shit matters, even if you can't figure it out,
Even if we are ruled by devils,
Even if my days don't mean anything.
I just hope that I die while hugging
And not while in a wine drinking contest."
