Monday, September 28, 2009


this is my song-

If I could picket the world right now, I would.
If I could promise you that the adventure would be fun-
I would do that too.

Baby, I'm finally gonna pay that ticket today. Even though I don't want to. Don't want to step on another bus. Ride it into somewhere that I don't want to be.

A life without dreams is _____?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

work & play

Here are some pictures from the other night @ Clayton Patterson's opening w/ ALIFE. Congrats Clayton, you are the best.

heeeeey Raf

 I bought a bag of candy corn this morning at Rite-aid. It was 1/2 off of 99 cents. I have a strong feeling that it is expired, but there is no real way of knowing with the seasonal candy that you want around for all year. 

Monday, September 21, 2009

kiss the rings

time is a wonderful healer, my friend.

Friday, September 18, 2009

l'shana tova

my celebration; listening to kasper hauser gonna smoke a spliff and then chew a piece of trident
l'shana tova

leaving tomorrow to a secret space in a big open field

can you tell the difference between a sunset and a sunrise in a photograph?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

green weiner

Seriously bumming. The only cure (besides working) is getting laid. Specifically, by Adam Green. I wouldn't want him to talk before or after, that would ruin it.

I might be moving back to ATL. If it does indeed come to that, it would mean giving up this fun thing I've got going at the UN. But then I think in Atlanta I would adopt a puppy and work on getting a car.

I am reading Sei Shonagon's "Hateful Things". I notice she left out unsatisfying compromises (like the one above). While it may be written in the definition that compromises mean giving up something that you want, unsatisfying compromises are truly he most hateful things of all.
Here are some gems she does include:
  • "An elderly person warms the palms of his hands over a brazier and stretches out the wrinkles. No young man would dream of behaving in such a fashion; old people can really be quite shameless."
  • "One has been foolish enough to invite a man to spend the night in an unsuitable place--and then he starts snoring."
  • "One has gone to bed and is about to doze off when a mosquito appears, announcing himself in a reedy voice. One can actually feel the wind made by his wings and, slight though it is, one finds it hateful in the extreme."
  • "Sometimes one greatly dislikes a person for no particular reason--and then that person goes and does something hateful."

It is so strange and wonderful when the world quietly unveils the littlest improvements. A bathroom tile has been missing forever in this spot. I came back and it has been discreetly replaced.
I vow not to fall asleep in the daylight for a while.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


made it back to new york
so tired
interview with UN today
was wonderful
have a job now
but still need other ones.
so happy
going to fall back to sleep

my first meeting is monday at 11AM.
lets go shopping for blazers

Sunday, September 6, 2009

embarrassment is a fallacy

I think the rats really are getting bigger.

The only time/way it seems to work is as a means of occupying my hands for the awkward hour when the music is slow or no one is talking.
how I look in a mirror, the way I move, finish stories or remember facts.

Sarah Castronovo

J. Penry

I was working on a revision of an essay about the first time I didn't remember how I got somewhere. What it's like to be 16 and wake up in a place you've never been before and don't recognize. 
It's an old story and I have hardly any more perspective now.

I don't know how I feel about writing guides or styles of how-tos, but back in New York, I am reading The Best Creative Nonfiction, vol 1. After that I want to finish Lopate's 'Art of the Personal Essay' in its entirety. Maybe after I finish up those anthologies I can figure out what it is I liked about this essay before I started writing it.  I like the disjunction in the things I say. I just want to write for disaffected teenagers that read books and know how to drive fast.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

i hate you

I am at my parent's house in Georgia now. For Labor Day and foot surgery. I am in the back yard on the computer, Esteban is staring me down from across the lawn. He is not interested in my existence.

Dear Applicant,
This is an automated email confirmation that we received your submission. Please be advised that due to the high volume of applicants, we will only be able to contact candidates whose skills and background best fit the needs of the open positions. After reviewing your resume, if we find you may be a fit for the position for which you have applied, a Human Resources representative will be in touch.
Thank you for your interest in The Museum of Modern Art!
MoMA Jobs

summer reading

I am back in Atlanta.
Emma Goldman > Alix Kates Shulman.
Foot surgery.
Photographs of my foot.
Desperate postcard.
Peachless trees.
Turning off my cell phone.
Not finishing the things I start.