Sunday, November 29, 2009

whitney and serge

take in it

Atlanta Thanksgiving wasn't so bad this time around
talked with Mason about writing a shitty book about birds
"The eastern bluebird lines it's nest with grass and plant material then lays 2-7 pale blue-white eggs."

new round of job / fellowship applications

aunt sue, i love you
and want to do another roadtrip to Palatka

i need to get some photos developed

going to miami
breathing easier

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

music for nothing myself

i made a mix for no one / everyone
love, emily

1. romeo void - never say never
2. beat happening - teenage caveman
3. girls - lust for life
4. leonard cohen - is this what you wanted?  
4. nina simone - suzanne
5. beach boys - i'm waiting for the day
6. ESG - you make no sense 
7. screaming females - boyfriend 
8. kurt vile - freak train
9. marine girls - in love 
9. beat happening - i spy 
9. the fall - oh! brother 
10. the smiths - still ill 
11. sort sol & lydia lunch - as she weeps
12. devo - uncontrolable urge
13. woods - holes

romeo void - never say never

("teenage caveman" isn't on youtube so instead this is "bad seeds")

girls - lust for life (dir. aaron buttig / all the versions of this video are amazing)

(leonard cohen "is this what you wanted?" isn't here. this is nina simone covering "suzanne")

screaming females - boyfriend 

kurt vile - freak train

sort sol & lydia lunch

devo - uncontrolable urge
this bitch talks too much 

Thursday, October 29, 2009


by Wallace Stevens

 The light is like a spider.
 It crawls over the water.
 It crawls over the edges of the snow.
 It crawls under your eyelids
 And spreads its webs there--
 Its two webs.

 The webs of your eyes
 Are fastened
 To the flesh and bones of you
 As to rafters of grass.

 There are filaments of your eyes
 On the surface of the water
 And in the edges of the snow.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


fillings in notebooks /
i need more fillings in my teeth

you gonna be at the vice thing on halloween?
i had really wanted to see phil elvrum at market hotel. maybe ill still figure that out. the little prince wasn't really going anywhere as a costume idea/ need to think up a replacement fast.
tryna get some xxxxxxxxx too.  i feel a smile.

trying to make a list of thoughtful ways to waste my own time.......


sometimes, without warning or clear cause, i smell you. it's cheap.
like hamster shavings, sweat, your parent's house, old spice. and an ounce of something on fire.


1998. Watching this music video alone in my room was probably my first sexual experience.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

the new yorker

I never used to read the New Yorker, but I do now. I did today.
Often, I do not understand the cartoons.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


i miss him,

i miss myself

Monday, October 12, 2009


Joe Brainard is the best thing that's happened to me this month.
I love him, the "I Remembers", and of course, the Nancys

Saturday, October 10, 2009


does this look like Woody Allen or Andy Warhol to you?

-Sarah C

Friday, October 9, 2009

last season

as close to exactly one year ago as I can be

October 2008



I don't believe in love.
Yo no creo en amor.


Grates, October 2009


Service, September 2009


Murray, August 2009

This is Joe's dog Murray. He needs help brushing his hair. 

of recent

losing a friend
not having a ride
baking things to make the air smell better
hurrying and waiting
talking to jilda
where is my line
should i stay
and wait for your letter
you don't know me anymore
hollow sirens
severe faced witch
i left our topless pumpkins out in the rain, surely they have rotted
we will just have to make new ones

i hope that black lipstick is made out of something toxic

we are one step closer to an aids vaccine but i still write about microbials

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


I just want to read and write and
be calm.
be closer to something like perfect.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009


this is my song-

If I could picket the world right now, I would.
If I could promise you that the adventure would be fun-
I would do that too.

Baby, I'm finally gonna pay that ticket today. Even though I don't want to. Don't want to step on another bus. Ride it into somewhere that I don't want to be.

A life without dreams is _____?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

work & play

Here are some pictures from the other night @ Clayton Patterson's opening w/ ALIFE. Congrats Clayton, you are the best.

heeeeey Raf

 I bought a bag of candy corn this morning at Rite-aid. It was 1/2 off of 99 cents. I have a strong feeling that it is expired, but there is no real way of knowing with the seasonal candy that you want around for all year. 

Monday, September 21, 2009

kiss the rings

time is a wonderful healer, my friend.

Friday, September 18, 2009

l'shana tova

my celebration; listening to kasper hauser gonna smoke a spliff and then chew a piece of trident
l'shana tova

leaving tomorrow to a secret space in a big open field

can you tell the difference between a sunset and a sunrise in a photograph?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

green weiner

Seriously bumming. The only cure (besides working) is getting laid. Specifically, by Adam Green. I wouldn't want him to talk before or after, that would ruin it.

I might be moving back to ATL. If it does indeed come to that, it would mean giving up this fun thing I've got going at the UN. But then I think in Atlanta I would adopt a puppy and work on getting a car.

I am reading Sei Shonagon's "Hateful Things". I notice she left out unsatisfying compromises (like the one above). While it may be written in the definition that compromises mean giving up something that you want, unsatisfying compromises are truly he most hateful things of all.
Here are some gems she does include:
  • "An elderly person warms the palms of his hands over a brazier and stretches out the wrinkles. No young man would dream of behaving in such a fashion; old people can really be quite shameless."
  • "One has been foolish enough to invite a man to spend the night in an unsuitable place--and then he starts snoring."
  • "One has gone to bed and is about to doze off when a mosquito appears, announcing himself in a reedy voice. One can actually feel the wind made by his wings and, slight though it is, one finds it hateful in the extreme."
  • "Sometimes one greatly dislikes a person for no particular reason--and then that person goes and does something hateful."

It is so strange and wonderful when the world quietly unveils the littlest improvements. A bathroom tile has been missing forever in this spot. I came back and it has been discreetly replaced.
I vow not to fall asleep in the daylight for a while.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


made it back to new york
so tired
interview with UN today
was wonderful
have a job now
but still need other ones.
so happy
going to fall back to sleep

my first meeting is monday at 11AM.
lets go shopping for blazers

Sunday, September 6, 2009

embarrassment is a fallacy

I think the rats really are getting bigger.

The only time/way it seems to work is as a means of occupying my hands for the awkward hour when the music is slow or no one is talking.
how I look in a mirror, the way I move, finish stories or remember facts.

Sarah Castronovo

J. Penry

I was working on a revision of an essay about the first time I didn't remember how I got somewhere. What it's like to be 16 and wake up in a place you've never been before and don't recognize. 
It's an old story and I have hardly any more perspective now.

I don't know how I feel about writing guides or styles of how-tos, but back in New York, I am reading The Best Creative Nonfiction, vol 1. After that I want to finish Lopate's 'Art of the Personal Essay' in its entirety. Maybe after I finish up those anthologies I can figure out what it is I liked about this essay before I started writing it.  I like the disjunction in the things I say. I just want to write for disaffected teenagers that read books and know how to drive fast.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

i hate you

I am at my parent's house in Georgia now. For Labor Day and foot surgery. I am in the back yard on the computer, Esteban is staring me down from across the lawn. He is not interested in my existence.

Dear Applicant,
This is an automated email confirmation that we received your submission. Please be advised that due to the high volume of applicants, we will only be able to contact candidates whose skills and background best fit the needs of the open positions. After reviewing your resume, if we find you may be a fit for the position for which you have applied, a Human Resources representative will be in touch.
Thank you for your interest in The Museum of Modern Art!
MoMA Jobs

summer reading

I am back in Atlanta.
Emma Goldman > Alix Kates Shulman.
Foot surgery.
Photographs of my foot.
Desperate postcard.
Peachless trees.
Turning off my cell phone.
Not finishing the things I start.

Friday, August 28, 2009

no notes

I may be getting a job at the UN, no joke. I find out on Monday. Even if I don't get it, I'm excited to get into the building and look around.
I don't think I've been there since I was a little kid, maybe not even then. Maybe it's just a place I wish I had visited as a child.

I fell in love with these things, but I wasn't taking notes as I was doing it. I can't tell you very good descriptions of what they are. Sorry.

through their hands, they shall learn
thanks for this, maxwell


sea monster hobbes
sublime frequencies
if i can pay my rent this month, the next thing im gonna do is invest in a drug rug
and some lip liner
louise bourgeois
no wake. save the manatees.

i also fell for roosevelt franklin:

as sure as a moose likes moose-juice.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Monica came back for a minute before leaving again. Now she is on a farm in Spain and I miss her. WWOOF.

backyard beets

This is Lindley holding Lazaro somewhere on Broadway.

Lindley is a photographer and also made these sites:

My favorite is 'the ones we love.' I like looking at the handwriting of photographers, especially those younger than me, and ones that claim to love their moms.

It has been a summer of breakups and downs and ups again. And now it is almost over.

mountain sides

The whole world smelled like garbage today. But besides that everything was ok and the weather is getting better. My neck doesn't sweat as much while I am sleeping.

These are photographs from PA.
I visited Jody in the mountains and had the best time. He escorted me to the first wedding I have ever been to. After hours of drinking at the reception, I went to a casino and lost $10 on a digitized slot machine. Then the next day, hungover, we walked through the wet woods.

It looked like the Emerald City

There were thousands of these guys

Hi Jody

Sunday, August 23, 2009

can you see the repairs in the sky?

can you see the repairs in the sky?

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Monkeytown has to be the worst venue in Brooklyn. I showed up late and sat in the corner. A balding man was eating the worst smelling mini hamburgers and foie gras. It was gross.
Later I was drinking mezcal and dos equis. Today I'm kinda down.

Someone! Help me with indexhibit, please.
I'm trying to piece together a website. Slow it goes.

I dug through my external hard drive and found some movies of a road trip to Florida and when I first moved to New York. This is that.

my mentor

a dream

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I need to see this movie


email to my momma

i dont have to respond to ridiculous emails anymore or have someone call me retarded at 9:30 in the morning.

it's a good thing that DP deleted my email account because i probably would have made a book out of the trash those people sent to me in the past month.
on the positive, I got to meet J Mascis and fan out in front of him.
so long for now, powerhouse.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

summer pains

these are the things i want in this moment.
while i am contemplating not liking my job, being homeless, and feeling like NYC is not where i want to be.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I was watching 'a room with a view'

I owe you a thousand apologies
I don't

my foolish behavior

I believe it was my photographs you had thrown away

they were covered in blood
Thank you.

I don't.
(swelling strings)