a little different

EARLY FALL 2004

love is like
A, artichokes, quarted, marinated, imported from Spain. runner up: alien heads
B, body heat, images of being cold and then seeing a lovely, glowing anyone who unzips a oversized sweatshirt and lets me in and zips it back all the way up. I want to be consumed, to feel heat from all sides. runner up: babysnakes, babycakes, babydays
C, cat stevens, made amazing music years ago. runner up: candle wax finger tips, cel-rey soda
D, dancing, is difficult to do in your car, and ideally makes your head luminescent. runner up: diary
E, elephants, future tattoo worthy? runner up: embers
F, fingernails, keep them short and sweet. they are wonderful, so don’t fuck them up. don’t grow only one out really long, cause that’s what homeless people do so they can scrape the street lice out of their ears. If your fingernails are long because you play guitar or sitar some shit, it really isn’t any excuse. runner up: funky dibetics, dime bags full of funk, some funky saxophonists
G, gangsta rap: tupac, there is something admirable about the kids who think tupac is still alive. It’s almost romantic. I’d like to think that Tupac is just chillin somewhere in Jamaica too. runner up: jerseys (vintage hawks)
H, HBO, specifically, Six Feet Under. The greatest show ever. I watch it when I’m depressed, only, I think it makes it worse. runner up: helium
I, Ignatius J. Reilly, from "A Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole. At 31, Toole committed suicide in Biloxi, Ms by running a hose from the exhaust pipe of his car to the inside and then locking himself in. After his death, his mother published his work. He became popular and famous. runner up: inner-tubing down rivers
J, joy ride, (midnights and mornings). runner up: jerusalem, in a poetic sense
K, kites, buoys in the sky supported by a thin, tiny, almost invisible string. runner up: kindergarten handholders
L, leaving differently then you came, {self-explanatory}. Runner up: Latin. Too bad the language is dead. talk to the pope, except he’s a Nazi.
M, mmhmm, the soft, breathy, subtle something people make trying to fall asleep or when they feel too good to talk. runner up: musical psychology
N, noisy nights, cars skids, locus, drunk kids, static, X runner up: 'never say never'
O, October, the best month of the year. The sky gets grey in a nice kind of way and Halloween is prime. runner up: oval faces, owl hoots in cartoons
P, pyromania, is a hobby, not a psychological disorder. paper, cotton balls soaked in nail polish remover, boxes of jello, pens, markers, crayons, dried flowers. runners up: phil elvrum and Panic, for a nanosec like you forgot something, but really you have it with you
Q, "quiet, my parents are asleep", and then trying to walk on clouds to the basement. runner up: quid
R, replies. Sometimes, I write letters to people I admire. So far the list includes Kimya Dawson (Moldy Peaches), Adrock (Beastie Boys), and this writer lady named Lesley Arfin (Vice). When they write back, its like a spark, it makes you feel hot for a second, like you could burn. If you wrote me a letter, maybe wouldn’t write back to you. Maybe I would. runner up: Rushmore music, rained on windows
S, saying 'no' when you really mean 'yes'. this kills. runner up: sweet breath, say no more
T, tissue paper t-shirts, i had this idea a while ago. It’s a cool idea for the summer time. And our culture is becoming more and more disposable. The only hang up I foresaw was for people that smoke cigarettes. or whatever else. Runner up: tea.
U, unlocked car doors, this is my big s e c r e t… I never lock my car doors. Not because im so particularly trusting. Im mostly just lazy, nothing has been stolen, yet. I love not having to unlock anything when I want to leave somewhere in a hurry. I leave my windows open a lot too. So my cars been rained in lots, but once there was a squirrel who came inside to visit me. runner up: undo-ness becoming done
V, voting, for anything, because i should. runner up: vases made in sculpture class
W, wrong answers, by others. runner up: waterfalls
X, x-pletives. runner up: x-zine
Y, yellow eyes, like wolves not jaundice. runner up: year in review lists (olddd ones from the 70's)
Z, Zappa and captain beefheart. runner up: zach with an H- not zac(s)



then i found this at the end of the same file:

sometimes I feel so in love. with everything. filled so much that I feel my clothes tighter against myself. (dated: OCTOBER 2005)


in reevaluating this i noticed that i can only think of things i love when i try to think of things i hate. i can only think of things i hate when i try to think of the things i love.